And still it goes on ...

We had hoped for a little measure of closure as our son's specialist equipment was taken away following his death - but that would be too easy.

Our booked collection visit from the local Community Loan Store happened this morning, and now the adrenalin is running yet again. We'd carefully checked the various seating equipment, toilet chairs, hoists and slings against the list we'd been given and collected it all downstairs ready for collection. The men with the van arrived, took one look from the doorway and said 'not ours, not taking it'. There followed a tense 20 minutes of asking what they had come for (no answer) and who's it was if it wasn't theirs (and who we could return it to - no answer). In the end one of them (obviously some sort of manager) phoned in and was authorized to take it all. They seemed to want to blame us for having made his equipment last and it not being new stuff, and appeared to have no real idea of what they were supposed to be collecting - despite this visit being the result of a number of detailed phone calls and e-mailed lists. They were obviously stunned when told he'd had some of this stuff for over 10-20 years.

They did reluctantly, and with bad grace, take the stuff away. But left us angry and stressed. I really shouldn't have to get this assertive at this sort of time. For god's sake, I'm not stealing the stuff, I'm trying to give it back to be re-used (though I strongly suspect it will all be in a skip by this afternoon, despite being worth £'000). I suspect we'll now be contacted by someone with a different list wanting the stuff again because the paperwork is a mess. There is more stuff still to go.

The humanity in the NHS these days is being gradually paperworked and procedured out. We'll grieve properly when the clipboards and lists have gone away.